


The Average Man's Guide to Dating

by cuttlemefish



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Humor, Light BDSM, M/M, Online Dating, a lot of chats, consultant yuuri, dom Yuuri, dominant and submissive dynamics, novelist viktor, potentially crackish concept, soft D/s, sub viktor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-06-21 22:17:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuttlemefish/pseuds/cuttlemefish
Summary: Closet Dominant Yuuri sends a cryptic message to romance novelist Viktor via your average mobile dating app. Despite Yuuri’s unfortunate fashion choices, Viktor agrees to accept his messages as part of research and inspiration for his next book. However, when amusement turns to curiosity and messages turn into dates, Viktor is forced to question whether his interest is really as casual as he claims.





	1. In Which Viktor is a Novelist in Need of Inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome this madness. We should have between 5-6 chapters, if this teaser chapter goes well and the premise is of interest to folks. This is the shortest chapter. 
> 
> Which, reminds me! Hello, I’m CuttleMeFish and you can just go ahead and call me Z! I write about ridiculous rom-com premises most of the time, some of which deal with the hilarity of dating, social media shenanigans, and are sometimes inspired very loosely by real life (mine). You can find me on Tumblr (CuttleMeFishWrites), Twitter (CMFWritings), and Discord. You can ask for my Discord server in comments or on Tumblr. I would love to interact with you. <3

**Tip #1: Join a Dating Site**

His name is Yuuri.

The profile is a little cryptic. It’s mainly a body shot of a man with excellent posture wearing an atrocious suit and an even uglier tie, all in the shadows of a decently-sized apartment for the area.

And, really, there’s no other way to describe it: It’s an _ugly_ tie. Viktor knows ties. He also knows that nothing ever good comes from someone cropping out two-thirds of their face for a picture or writing in all caps on the top of their profile, **THAT’S NOT A WEDDING RING**. _Sure_. Viktor definitely knows the type; he sees them regularly trying to get into his inbox first, his pants second (no dinner involved, please). The message is bound to be predictable (and Viktor is getting bored). Either _wannabe-Bond_ will claim he’s in an open marriage _or_ that he’s in divorce procedures—and while Viktor would consider the legitimacy of a real open marriage as permission enough to have a conversation, he’s not taking chances with mysterious online gentlemen that would dismiss a ring _twice_ in a single paragraph. He squints to see if it’s _really_ a class ring.

So, altogether Viktor has a body to inspect _and_ a message. It’s like the beginning of a really bad crime novel in faded paperback print being sold at the snacks concession of the train station. Naturally, he’s inching towards swiping left, but there’s this compulsion he has for reading everything and that started when he was three, so he reads.  

**Hi. I’m looking for a long-term relationship with a partner that shares a very particular interest of mine. Perhaps this is forward for a first message, but would you be open to talking about submission in the bedroom?**

That’s not at all what Viktor expected. He reads the message again.

Definitely not at all what he expected.

**.**

Viktor Nikiforov joins MaybeLove on a whim because

  1. Of nostalgia. He’d once joined the same dating website when he was in college and it provided endless entertainment and more than a few good meals with kind, but busy adults hoping to score with a young, hot twenty-something.
  2. Of boredom. He’s worried his writing is suffering from some creative blocks, likely stemming from the recent drought of _cock_ (at least he can still rhyme) that has hit his life. Viktor is a popular romance novelist with an encyclopedic knowledge of dating tropes because he’s seen it all. Apparently, _all_ can only result in some 5 novels and his editor is demanding more. Viktor’s not sure he has more when he’s been writing since he was in college.
  3. Of curiosity. What’s the worst that could happen other than racking up a mountain of likes and very complimentary messages about his eyes? Nothing other than feeling good about himself.
  4. Of a genuine desire to meet men without having to get out of his sweatpants or the cuddle pile with his dog, Makkachin, after a long week doing work and making tough decisions and sending too many emails and Facebook messages. He just wants an online store to deliver his perfect match, thanks.



 

To make it clear, he does not join because:

  1. Of any hidden submissive tendencies. Viktor is a twenty-five-year-old in full control of his life. He is a creative genius, full-time, with fantastic fashion sense and an amazing life. He’s a _boss_.
  2. Of any particular desire for an actual long-term relationship. Meeting people is one thing. Viktor just wants to be entertained; he wants to be wined and dined. He doesn’t actually want a bed-warmer.



. 

Viktor shouldn’t really be all that surprised (at all) because BDSM is something people do, with or without other kinks, in private and sometimes in public. He has no qualms about consenting adults doing what they will with, well, consent. And now that more and more popular media is attempting to explore (sometimes badly) the dynamics of BDSM relationships with the general public, it should only be natural that more people are taking the plunge and—like anyone else—trying to find their other half on free dating sites with the convenience of mobile apps. It makes perfect sense to Viktor.

He still doesn’t know how to respond. 

**VN:** What should I do?

Viktor asks his best friend Christophe on Facebook messenger because (1) it’s convenient and (2) he needs his phone available to scroll through the profile and take easy snapshots at the same time, which he can’t do if the phone is pressed against his ear. This is the kind of stuff desperate housewives dream about. This is the kind of stuff Viktor was _talking about_ when he said he wanted fodder for his next book. A Dominant looking for his next Submissive partner in the little nooks and crannies of a popular, otherwise nondescript dating site with other people that liked to share cute pictures of their dogs and their last trip to the Caribbean. However, it was also risky.

**VN:** I mean, it’s a little too good to pass up, but I’m also obviously not what he’s looking for. BUT just look at him, he’s even wearing a suit. It feels almost criminal that he didn’t list 50 Shades anywhere on this profile.

**CG:** I’d be more than a little concerned if he did… Not that I’m not concerned that a Dominant is propositioning you on an open dating site.

**VN:** Well, he hasn’t propositioned me yet. He’s just asking if he can?

**CG:** What’s the difference exactly if the word submissive is stamped all over that message? I mean, I think it’s great. There’s a market. And this guy is just begging to be the lead character in one of those romance game apps or someone’s trashy romance novel. Might as well be yours.

**VN:** Excuse you! My novels are amazing. So you’re saying swipe right?

**CG:** ONLY if you can block him if it starts getting weird. And don't actually meet him OR go through with dating him OR sleeping with him. 

**VN:** Swipe right, then!

. 

Swiping right means now there’s a waiting game for Yuuri to notice that his inbox is now open. Viktor considers messaging another friend to share information on his experiment, when he hears a ping. “That was fast,” he murmurs to himself and settles comfortably on his sofa. Makkachin wastes no time and tries to squeeze against his side.

**Yuuri**

Hi Viktor. Did you read my original message?

 

That’s considerate, as far as Viktor is concerned. It’s true that sometimes people just _swipe_ mindlessly. It feels almost like a second opportunity to turn back and reconsider his life and his actions, but Viktor has never been the type to live with regrets.

**Viktor**

Hi Yuuri. I did read your message. So, given how discrete you were in your profile, I wanted to be equally respectful and honest. I need to let you know now that I’m almost 99.9% not what you’re looking for, but I am incredibly curious by nature and have never deprived myself of innocent curiosities, so ask away.

 

(Viktor considers taking a break, before he sees another message.)

**Yuuri**

That’s fair. Thank you for being direct and open.

He types almost immediately: _Sure, I just wanted to make you aware of where I’m coming from, out of respect._

And then, he panics when he sees that, given the way another message, much larger than the first, has just loaded, it looks like Viktor just responded "sure" to Yuuri’s very clear admission that he's looking for a submissive (or the giant message that reads): 

**Yuuri**

I’m looking for a partner that would be open and finds pleasure and release in being submissive in the bedroom, despite or perhaps because they have absolute control in most of their life otherwise. Before I go any further, does that interest you at all? 

“Oh my god,” Viktor leaves the app almost immediately. There's a lot of things Viktor Nikiforov has done in his life that he has, in fact, regretted later. Joining a dating app to gather inspiration for his next novel may now just be one of the many. There's this rush of blood to his ears that makes him feel just a little dizzy. He just told a Dominant that _sure,_ he’s totally into the idea of submitting to him when all he was trying to do was respond to a simple thank you message. In a way, it's fortuitous because Viktor might have otherwise chickened out or said something to scare Yuuri away. Viktor squeals, sending Makkachin jumping off the sofa to stare at him from underneath the coffee table. “This is going to be so great for my book!”

He opens up the dating app again with a smile. It's fine just as long as he doesn't go on a date, right? That's what Chris had said. And Viktor has no intention whatsoever of actually going on a date with Yuuri. 

**TBC**


	2. In Which Viktor Is Not A Submissive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything will be fine by the end of chapter 3, okay? Don't worry about why I just said that. Just, trust me. Everything will be just fine. :D And, as always folks, stay safe on the Internet!  
> Also, I had to edit the formatting of Chapter 1 slightly. But only a slight. Nothing changed otherwise.  
> Come hangout with me at CuttleMeFishWrites.Tumblr.Com or on Twitter at @CMFWritings

**Tip #2: Safety First**

Yuuri has a magnetic personality that shines through a screen.

It’s impressive and terrifying all at once, the way he takes Viktor’s simple interest and reels him in slowly with refreshing honesty. Viktor asks and Yuuri responds, so long as it is about Yuuri’s role as a Dominant. He actively encourages Viktor to ask questions, curious to understand what makes Viktor think he might be a submissive (which he’s obviously not, of course). He prods into Viktor’s potential fantasies—the ones Viktor lets himself consider only because he has a goal to understand Yuuri. Viktor finds himself surprised that he lets him.  

**Viktor**

Well, I don’t know if I am a submissive. I guess I’m just curious about what it might “mean” to be a submissive. Just want to remain completely honest; I’m still not sure I’m a good fit for this…

**Yuuri**

My submissive or submissive in general?

I will happily answer any of your questions, like I said. Don’t worry about “imposing” on me. I’m genuinely happy to help you, Viktor, even if you don’t end up deciding to try this with me. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy and explore their interests. I think you’ll find it really liberating to talk to someone.

**Viktor**

In general, I guess. Submissive isn’t how I would categorize myself in any facet of my life.  

You said you had an ex-boyfriend you met on this site? What happened?

**Yuuri**

He finished graduate school and moved to Detroit. He was great. Circumstances just weren’t right for us.

**Viktor**

You didn’t want to make it work long distance?

**Yuuri**

It didn’t make sense for us, but we’re still good friends.

Why don’t you go ahead and ask me what is really on your mind, Viktor?

**Viktor**

Okay. Fine.

What was he like? What did you like the most about him? What did you do together?

**Yuuri**

I don’t know that those were the questions I was expecting.

He was nice. Smart. Funny. A little like you. Not physically, though.

I liked the way he enjoyed delighting in things.

**Viktor**

What type of things?

**Yuuri**

Things that he delighted in, lol. And that I enjoyed watching him delight in.

Are you still there?

**Viktor**

Thanks for your time, Yuuri. I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for, but I really appreciate how much time you’ve taken trying to explain all of this to me.

**Yuuri**

Hey, don’t do that to me. If you’re really worried, then let me decide for myself if you are or aren’t what I’m looking for.

**Viktor**

I’m not trying to do anything.

**Yuuri**

You’re doing this thing where you try to shut me out. This is the third time you’ve done it. I notice it because I really enjoy talking to you. It makes me wonder if you no longer want to talk to me, which it’s fine if you don’t... just tell me.

**Viktor**

I just worry I’m wasting your time, Yuuri.

I can promise you I’ll bore you. In life. In bed. I don’t tend to “delight” in things. I haven’t delighted in anything in a very long time. I tend to come home and just crash on the sofa with my dog and scroll through social media on my phone and wonder how it’s possible to physically _feel_ life passing me by.

**Yuuri**

I don’t give up easily on the things I think are worth fighting for and you really fascinate me, Viktor. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you here.

You deserve to be delighted constantly. From what you’ve told me already, it sounds like you’ve had a lot of relationships with men that weren’t worthy of you. That’s their problem, though, not yours.

**Viktor**

I bet you say that to everyone.

**Yuuri**

I don’t say things I don’t mean. I also don’t tend to say a lot of things to people in general. A lot of my friends think I’m really shy. In fact, my coworkers consider me quiet, unless I have a couple of drinks. But you? I can tell you’re something really special just from the way you write with so much expression. It’s like I can see you talking to me. I like you talking to me. Use me as a resource, venting space, whatever, if that’s what you need. I might not be much in your mind, being a strange, but, if you let me, I’d like to be.

But if calling yourself boring is your way of trying to leave the conversation because I make you uncomfortable, just tell me and I’ll leave you alone.

**Viktor**

You’re not making me uncomfortable at all, Yuuri. You’ve been really respectful and kind.

**Yuuri**

Then, if it’s really because you’re worried about your “inexperience” as a submissive, trust me when I say that you don’t need to worry about that or me.

Even if, let’s say, we met and you didn’t want to do anything physical, there’s lots of things we can do. Or we could do nothing at all. You owe me nothing. You don’t owe anyone anything. But I really like you and I’d like a chance, if you think I’m anything, even a smidgen of what you’d be into. There, all my cards on the table.

So, what will it be?

**Viktor**

You’ll tell me if I’m not what you’re looking for?

**Yuuri**

And you’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable, right?

**Viktor**

Yes.

**Yuuri**

Then that’s settled. Now, ask me another question.

Viktor isn’t sure why, but each time Yuuri encourages him to ask a question, he feels compelled to ask more. Before he knows it, it’s been hours of back and forth conversation. It doesn’t matter how skillfully Viktor tries to veer the conversation back to Yuuri. Yuuri manages expertly to prod Viktor open a little bit more each time, asking him questions so personal that it verges on titillating. (No other person that’s messaged him is now able to keep his attention. Yuuri isn’t wrong: There’s something liberating about discussing fantasies with a stranger, even if he’s not sure he’d be into their reality. Next to the connection he has with Yuuri, the awkward dance of pretending to be a juggler of perfect-date characteristics feels shallow and empty.) But, when Yuuri asks Viktor an innocent question about masturbation, Viktor freezes, staring at the screen for a long while. It’s like he can feel a change in the air, something transforming—and he knows if he answer this, nothing will be the same, because this would be about him, bare and private.

**Viktor**

Is this important?

**Yuuri**

You don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable, but I promise there is a purpose to my question. I’m not trying to get details, just an understanding of your libido. To understand if we’d be compatible.

Here, I’ll go first. I masturbate almost every day. Sometimes, multiple times a day. You?

**Viktor**

I can’t believe I’m answering this for you.

**Yuuri**

Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Remember the rule.

You should always feel empowered to say no.

**Viktor**

Practically every day?

**Yuuri**

That’s good. That’s a good sign we may be compatible there.

**Viktor**

You know, for someone that claims to be shy, you’re not very shy at all.

**Yuuri**

I didn’t claim to be shy, just told you that that’s how my coworkers see me.

 

(And Viktor can sort of understand that – the feeling of being seen as one person, even while wishing he was another.)

Naturally, Viktor breaks his ‘no dating Yuuri’ rule almost immediately, or more like after two days’ worth of conversation. He knows it’s the completely wrong thing to do when he wakes up Sunday morning and cradles his phone in his hand, a big smile on his face when he reads a little good morning message from Yuuri, like he must know Viktor touched himself eagerly most of the night thinking about a faceless man in a sloppy suit encouraging him to open himself up to new experiences.

It wasn’t that Yuuri hadn’t offered to send Viktor a picture by now. Viktor just couldn’t bring himself to break the illusion that Yuuri only existed within the confines of his phone.

**Yuuri**

Let’s get coffee today. If you’re free?

**Viktor**

Okay. Sure. I’m free.

.

It can’t hurt to meet up in a public place. He chooses a Starbucks a few blocks from his apartment—close enough that it lets him walk over just ten minutes before his date, but far enough away that he doesn’t have to worry about a potential stalker so long as he takes the long, roundabout way home or walks into the subway first. He sits perfectly still in front of a cup of coffee, uninterested as his phone burns a hole in his pocket. Viktor is early. Despite all his attempts at timing his walk over perfectly, he’s still a whole five minutes early and questioning whether he should message Christophe. He pauses short of typing on his phone when he feels a shadow loom behind him.

“Viktor?”

“Yuuri?” Viktor turns around, taken aback by Yuuri.

Viktor hadn’t known what to expect. While Yuuri knew what he looked like, Viktor hadn’t seen Yuuri’s face before. He’d only come to associate Yuuri with sloppy suits and risqué online messaging. Instead, Yuuri is dressed in an expensive-looking long gray coat, which he slips off with ease before pulling off his elegant leather gloves finger by finger. It leaves Viktor feeling both a little underdressed and self-conscious (and like he needs to fan himself, which might just be the establishment’s heating).

“Well, now I feel like I should’ve dressed up,” Viktor chuckles nervously. 

Yuuri misunderstands him entirely, head popping up instantly. If Viktor didn’t have experience with the Yuuri on his phone, he might have assumed Yuuri was self-conscious. He gives Viktor a comfortable smile, though, saying “Oh, yeah, the weather really changed, didn’t it? I hear it might snow tomorrow.”

The response sounds weird to Viktor, so he tries again.

“I meant more because one of us obviously looks better than the other.”

Yuuri sits in front of him, blinking in confusion. He studies Viktor for a moment, his eyes narrowing in on Viktor’s face, and for a moment Viktor wonders if he’s zeroing in on his big forehead or his ( _not receding_ ) hairline. However, Yuuri’s eyes soften then, and Viktor feels like something warm and special is running over his cheeks and mapping out the road to his lips and his clavicle: “You’re right. You look amazing, Viktor. You’re definitely more handsome in person; I didn’t think it was possible with your pictures, but here you are...”

 _He’s kidding, right?_ Viktor flushes a light pink, taking the compliment in stride. He reaches for his infinity scarf, pulling it over his head to hide his neck. He’s never felt like he was _tantalizing_ before, but there’s something in the way Yuuri looks at him with so much admiration that makes Viktor feel precious. He wants to keep that feeling going forever.

 _That’s ridiculous. Don’t get attached,_ he reminds himself and, instead, does some mental calculations about the cost of the blue suit Yuuri is wearing to their coffee date. He tries and fails not to think about how it might cost more than Viktor’s rent. He’s heard of consultant salaries, but Yuuri has to be doing _really_ well for himself to be able to afford such luxury. Viktor can also afford it, but he’s an award-winning author.

“I meant that you’re really dressed up for a Sunday coffee date.”

Yuuri looks down at his clothes, “Oh, yeah. Sorry. I had a call with an overseas client and lost track of time. I was going to wear jeans, but maybe it’s better you see me in my natural element. This is, uh, me, about 90% of the time.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Viktor grins, leaning forward. “You look very different from your picture. Well, I didn’t know what to expect, but the suit—”

“You were expecting Sears’ circa Spring 2005 instead of Macy’s sometime in 2018?” Yuuri chuckles, and Viktor thinks he could watch this man clean his glasses forever. This is really bad news. Viktor has always had a weakness for beautiful men, and Yuuri tops the list, easily.

“ _That_ is hardly Macy’s,” Viktor gasps, almost offended Yuuri would even try it. “I know clothing. That is _not_ Macy’s.”

“Their website has more options than the store?” Yuuri tries again, but Viktor can tell he’s joking.

“I think you went to Bloomingdale’s, at least,” Viktor laughs. “Are you getting something?”

“Uh, yeah, probably a coffee for now. I’ll be right back. You want anything else?”

Viktor shakes his head, biting his bottom lip as he watches Yuuri walk to the line.

.

Throughout their date, Yuuri is smooth, charming, intelligent, and everything Viktor would normally want in a potential boyfriend—and has failed to get after years in the dating circuit. He’s also strangely tight-lipped about being a Dominant in public, which should’ve been Viktor’s expectation all along considering Yuuri doesn’t even feel comfortable showing his face on a dating site. _And what a nice face it is!_

The first time Viktor tries to approach the conversation, Yuuri ignores him completely, taking a long sip from his coffee cup until a couple of giggly college girls walk around their table and leave. Viktor has a moment of minor panic wondering whether they heard him, but eventually decides it’s not important even if they did, considering he’s likely to never see them again, or recognize them. The second time Viktor brings up some articles he’s read, Yuuri remains tight-lipped, listening to Viktor attentively until he’s done. He keeps his hands clasped in front of him, nodding every so often. Viktor isn’t sure why Yuuri looks so uncomfortable, but when he’s done, there’s a small smile tugging at the sides of Yuuri’s lips. He leans forward a little and says: “Good job, Viktor. You’ve done your homework.”

And it’s not exactly what Viktor was expecting, but it seems to be exactly what he wants and he preens.

That’s how problem number one starts. He really should’ve known it’d be all downhill thereafter.  

.

**Yuuri**

I’m sorry I kept changing the subject on you. I don’t discuss my Dominant tendencies in public for reasons.

**Viktor**

Why?

**Yuuri**

I know people call this a city, but it’s really much more like a small town. A lot of my co-workers live in the area. Because of my job, I keep things really private. But I still wanted you to know that I was very pleased you’d been doing so much independent research.

I think it’s good for you to know things on your own. There’s a lot of creeps out there. And even though I want you to trust me, Viktor, I also really did mean what I said before: Even if it’s not with me, I hope you get to discover this part of yourself further in a safe environment with a partner that respects you and can take good care of you.

**Viktor**

Yeah, I know. I’ve dated a lot of creeps, remember?

So, if you don’t talk about it in public, what was your relationship like with your ex-boyfriend?

**Yuuri**

Like any other relationship, only with different bedrooms dynamics.

I don’t expect you to submit at all times, Viktor. Not unless that’s what you want out of our arrangement. But we can discuss that later.

**Viktor**

Later when?

**Yuuri**

 Be patient.

**Viktor**

I’m not very patient.

**Yuuri**

When you feel comfortable enough to meet with me one-on-one. You’ll pick the night and I’ll drop by your place with a nice bottle of wine, just to take the edge off, and we’ll talk and hash everything out.

And, if you’ll let me, I’d like to kiss you. You said the last time you were kissed was over a year ago. That’s too long, if you ask me.

**Viktor**

Going to seal the deal with a kiss, huh? Well, aren’t you a romantic, Yuuri!

**Yuuri**

I’m not that romantic at all. But remember I told you that I think you should be constantly delighted? I also think you should always be kissed...

**Viktor**

And you think you can do that? Delight me at all times? Kiss me always?

**Yuuri**

I’d like to try. But only if that’s what you want.

.

This is a problem. Viktor can’t _like_ Yuuri, self-proclaimed Dominant with serious privacy concerns (and the prettiest smile Viktor has ever seen). The smile part is important _and_ a major problem because Viktor wants to see Yuuri smile at him all the time. He spends much of his free time checking his phone, smiling quietly at himself as he reads over Yuuri’s old messages.

Here’s the thing, though: Viktor (being impatient and Viktor) has already proposed the book to his agent _and_ editor, and they both love the premise. In fact, they like it so much, they both encourage him to pursue _this_ with abandon. (“Nonfiction is IN this year and the 30-65 crowd is hot and bothered without release. We think a set of memoirs, like an exposé of the lifestyle from an outsider, mixed in with a genuine love story would be a HUGE hit!”) – And that definitely changes the rules. Viktor had considered writing a piece of fiction. Apparently, that might not be good enough.

And it’s not that Viktor would be opposed to hanging out with Yuuri more. He also doesn’t think Yuuri would be opposed to helping Viktor learn more about the lifestyle: “Like a hands-on research assistant,” he says to himself, dipping into an ice cream tub. Makkachin stares at him strangely. “Okay, so not, like, _hands-on_ , but… oh my god, I’m trying to justify my dating choices to my dog.”

It just feels _wrong_ to pursue this actively without any intention of giving Yuuri release. Or knowledge of his plans. Like, it had felt fine and funny back when he was scrolling through MaybeLove and chatting up a faceless figure with really intense chat manners, but now Yuuri is a real person. He’s definitely someone Viktor… _appreciates._ In fact, he appreciates him so much, he wants to hear him laugh at Viktor’s bad jokes and share dog stories and maybe hold hands while walking around DuPont Circle.

But he can’t give Yuuri what he wants as a Dominant. That’s for certain.  

Viktor is _not_ a submissive.

.

**Yuuri**

Hey Viktor. How's your day?

**Viktor**

Good. It’s been good. I didn’t really do much of anything yet, though. Mostly just browsed the Internet.

**Yuuri**

Still researching?

**Viktor**

Sort of? It’s for work, though. What I’m researching. My agent just gave me the go ahead to start writing. He’s going to start shopping my idea around soon, see if he can get me some advances.

**Yuuri**

Oh! Right. I remember you said you were a novelist. What’s your new book going to be about?

**Viktor**

Funny you should mention that. It’s complicated. But maybe you can help.

**Yuuri**

?

Gotta go. Have meetings all day and then a happy hour with colleagues.

Let me know more about your book, though. I’d be interested in reading some of your other stuff, too.

**Viktor**

I write romance. Some of it is very explicit.

**Yuuri**

So… is this something I can find on Amazon or…?

.

 “Are you caught up yet? Did you read it all?”

“Yes,” Chris whistles low and long. Viktor knew the whole thing was _intense_ , to say the least. Chris seems to agree: “Viktor, cheri, I know we said no dating Yuuri, but since that train has passed, I think you need to let him _delight you_. Whatever that means. And then you need to tell me what that means. Or introduce me to him. I’m always happy to send you notes for your book.”

“One, you have a boyfriend. Two, right?!” Viktor groans. “I’m so fucked. Chris, I’m not talking about the pride you feel when you can eat three burgers and someone compliments your waistline. I’m talking about this weird sense of warmth and giddiness when he smiles at me or tells me I did a good job. I don’t even know what happened to me, but I’m in trouble.”

Viktor makes his way through throngs of people out on a Friday night.

“I don’t see a problem. You like him. He’s nice. He has a good job. Sure, he’s a little adventurous in the bedroom, but that could be a plus. A big plus. He otherwise seems to just want to be boyfriends. It’s cute. We’re all just waiting on you now, by the way. Want me to order you a drink?”

“Yes, please. I’m just turning the corner now. Should be there in a couple of more minutes.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

Viktor looks around as he whispers into the phone, “well, for one: I’m not a submissive.”

He hears Mila yell: “You don’t know that!”

“Two,” he continues, barreling on as he grinds his teeth, “I can’t go on dates and interview him for a book he doesn’t know I’m writing, especially if I intend to publish it.”

“And dump him,” Chris reminds him. “Write it and dump him.”

“That’s problem three. Now problem four is the worst. I really, _really_ like him.”

“That is _not_ the problem,” Chris chuckles, “Darling, that’s your salvation! If you didn’t like him, you’d probably be wholly incapable of fucking him for a bestseller, and then where would you be? Oh! Is that your shining forehead I see by the door?”

“Shut up. My forehead is _not_ shining. I just blotted.”  

Viktor practically rips through the crowded restaurant like a tornado and plops down on the empty seat by Christophe. Mila is already waiting with a glass of red wine for him, which he downs in one go before shaking his head and smiling at his friends, “Hey guys! Sorry I’m late. I lost track of time.”

“We know,” Mila chuckles, eyes sparkling as she pretends she wasn’t listening to the phone call all along, “Chris told us you’ve been busy plotting out your new book.

.

**Yuuri**

Are you out having drinks tonight?

If not, I think you have a doppelganger. If you are, is it okay to say hello? I promise I’ll be discrete. I’ve just been thinking about you a lot. I’d like to see you.

.

Viktor isn’t used to being approached in restaurants anymore. He used to be. Once upon a time, he’d been idealistic and hopelessly romantic and would have entertained a free drink from the bar. When _this_ drink arrives, though, he arches an eyebrow, trying to get the waiter’s attention. For his trouble he gets from the waiter a simple, “Please take it? The guy tipped me super well to deliver it. If you don’t want it, I can take it away in a few minutes.” – And, honestly, Viktor has a mind to be indignant, but he’s not, because it’s not a cheap drink.

“Who do you think sent it?” Chris purrs, eyes narrowing as he looks out at the packed restaurant. The bar is especially crowded with a group of men in suits having a loud and cheerful good time. “Maybe _this_ is the solution to all your problems.”

“How?” Viktor scoffs. Disinterestedly, he takes a small sip from the drink. “Oh. This is good.”

Georgi hums, scrolling through his phone, “Well, you never know. Love happens unexpectedly. Maybe whoever sent you that drink could sweep you off your feet tonight. Then, you could let Yuuri down easy and then your book would be about finding true love while discovering you were _not_ a submissive.”

“I’d read that book,” Mila nods. “Is Anya coming tonight?”

Georgi sighs and drops his head between his arms, “Probably for the best. She’s _dating_ again.”

Mila pats his shoulder, “You know, you _could_ just tell her you’re not gay already. She might consider dating you. Maybe.”

“I already did tell her!” Georgi sobs.

Chris arches an eyebrow, “then why in the world are you still wearing your eyeliner like a racoon?”

“This isn’t eyeliner!” Georgi cries harder. “This is what my eyes look like from crying all the time!”

Mila pulls away, turning back to Viktor, “Okay, so you’re meeting your soulmate tonight! Yay!”

Viktor taps on his bottom lip, “that’s actually not a bad plotline.”

Chris shrugs, “boring, safe, sounds perfect. And then you can introduce me to Yuuri.”

“You have a boyfriend,” they all remind him in unison. Again.

Chris waves them off with a wink.

“I know, I know. I just like to watch Viktor squirm a little.”

.

Yuuri’s not exactly the type to approach people, but he’s had a couple drinks and been taking his chances checking his phone to see if Viktor has replied at all. _Nothing_. A part of him feels ignored, in a way that lights something inside him and burns him whole. Another part of him is fully understanding, reminding him that, logically, Viktor is out with his friends and probably not looking at his phone. _He owes you absolutely nothing_ , he reminds himself, laughing at a joke his co-worker Phichit makes. But there’s something about the way the light is hitting Viktor’s hair that makes Yuuri keep turning to look at him.

“You should go say hello,” Phichit nudges him, elbowing him hard.

Yuuri rubs at his face, feeling and looking a little disheveled after a long day.

“I should, right?” Yuuri nods to himself.

“Totally!” Phichit enthuses, taking another shot of tequila. He’s been mixing his drinks all night.

“Okay, okay,” Yuuri smiles. “Wish me luck!”

If he’s discrete, they should be fine. _Right_?

So, he walks over to the table. Viktor is expressive when he speaks. His hands move rapidly, one hand holding onto an empty, familiar glass, and Yuuri smiles at having guessed something Viktor would like. He reaches for the empty glass gently.

“Can I get you another drink?” he tries to get his attention.

(And, look, Yuuri is not naturally smooth. He’s calculated. He has absolute control over how he presents himself. It’s the only way he’s managed to help ease some of the persistent anxious tension that constantly threatens his peace of mind. But this feels natural, like a little teasing game between two friends.)

Viktor turns and gasps in surprise.

“I’m sorry to just approach you like this,” Yuuri says. “I don’t usually… it’s not something I do. But it’s really hard not to look at you from across the room.”

Viktor’s smile is easy as he tilts his head and let’s Yuuri take the glass from his hand.

“Another drink wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Viktor says. “Can I pick the drink?”

Yuuri grins, “You didn’t like what I picked for you?”

The three other people at the table stare at them, their eyes following their conversation like a tennis match.

“It was nice, just not strong enough for my palate.”

“I’ll make a mental note of that,” Yuuri promises. “What name should I file it under?”

Viktor frowns, smile disappearing quickly.

“I think you know,” he tells Yuuri, brows furrowed.

And sure, Yuuri knows, but he’s not exactly sure that he wants to make up some story about how they would’ve met before to avoid Viktor’s friends from finding out that they met online – and have been actively talking about Viktor’s potential submissive tendencies. He clears his throat. As per usual, Yuuri isn’t sure how to deal with the sudden change in plans. He considers a fast retreat, but Viktor steamrolls on.

“Yuuri? Do you seriously not remember me?”

Yuuri opens his mouth to respond when one of Viktor’s friends gasps and says, “Oh my god! You’re Yuuri!”

 He realizes then that Viktor has probably not been as discrete a Yuuri. Yuuri isn’t sure exactly how much Viktor’s friends know, but he really can’t risk any type of sudden outburst with his coworkers just a few feet away. He shakes his head, glass still in hand as he actively lies and says, “You must have me confused with someone else. We’ve never met.” – And he tries to laugh, like a signal to Viktor that this is Yuuri _trying_ to cover them both, protect them both.

Viktor looks floored. His friends do too. Yuuri knows, then, that he’s walking into potential danger.

“We haven’t?” he asks him, scoffing as his confusion turns into anger. “Well, then, I guess there’s no need for you to file my name in your mind at all, is there?”

.

**Yuuri**

Viktor, I can explain.

_This user has deactivated their account._

**TBC**


End file.
